Passing of an ERA...Arny's Mother, Euleda, Dies at Age 98 Years Old

 

Euleda Funk Auernig - 1922-2020

I first met Euleda, Arny's (my brother-in-law) mother, back in the 1980's as a "Friend of Mom's".  Mom and Dad lived in a 55+ community, and Euleda lived in the same type of community which essentially was right next door.  My children were very young, and we were actually living in Utah while I attended college. On a visit to Sacramento, Euleda just happened to be at mom and dad's, or mom asked us to walk over to her place, when we first met.  First impression, "What a nice lady..."  Euleda just had this "Niceness" about her.  Nice smile, so friendly, and she told us how adorable my children were. 

Marcia and I started our travels in 2012, and for these last eight years I really got to know Euleda.  I did not take many pictures of her the first couple of years, especially when she was still in her right mind and was getting use to people seeing her without her wig on.  The first picture I could find of Euleda is on Mother's Day, 2015.  She would sit in the chair for 2 time periods each day, from 9 to 1, and 4 to 7.  A wheelchair would be used to move her from her bed to bathroom to her chair, to the bathroom and back to bed, twice each day.  When she weighed around 120 lbs, it would normally take two people.  When we were there, I would help Arny with moving her, getting her on and off the toilet, just about anything like that they needed.  Most weekdays they had a aide who helped...but they would not always be able to come for both morning and early afternoon shifts.  Sandy was there to help with the late afternoon and evening times, and for the weekends.  There was also periods of time that she was in Utah where her youngest son Mel and his wife and young children live...up until the final couple of years when travel just could not take place.

Above is one of the last pictures I had of her sitting up, taken in 2018.  Sister Patti (sitting next to our mom) and I would give Sandy and Arny a break a few times each year, allowing them to go to Reno for a weekend, or just out to dinner on a Friday or Saturday night.

By 2019 Euleda was confined to a bed, so Sandy and Arny found a hospital bed which was put into their family room.  For nearly two years she stayed in the bed 24 hours a day.  It was easier on those who were taking care of her because it did not require as much lifting...but we can only think that it was hell on Euleda.  By the time we saw here last year, she rarely gave any indication that she knew who we were.  It was hard to watch her in this steep decline...so when her time on earth ended, and after many prayers by those that loved her so much for the Lord to come and get her, she passed away peacefully Tuesday, December 29, 2020.  She was 98 years old.

Euleda was born December 10, 1922 as Euleda Funk.  She married very young to who would become Arny's biological dad by the name of Becker...a marriage which did not last very long (thank goodness for her and Arny's sake.)  in 1945 she graduated from a Beauty College in Salem Oregon, and went to work at a Salon in Pocatello.  The local newspaper in Aberdeen, where she grew up, had an article about it which they also ran in their "Looking Back" section on June 10, 2015.

Above is another "Looking Back" article which announced her marriage to her longtime husband, and a great father for Arny and biological father to Arny's brother Mel.  This article ran July 22, 1976 as a "30 years ago" and again on July 27, 2016 as a "70 years ago".  They were married on July 4, 1946.  For the most part Arny stayed in Aberdeen and was raised by his Euldea's parents, but he had a very close affection to his new father, and frankly had little to do with his biological father.

 

Little local newspapers had a habit of publishing any type of news they could get their hands on.  The above three articles each ran in 1955.  There were other articles like these three in the newspaper, but the above three provide a glimpse into Euleda's life back in 1955.

A very large and important part of Euleda's life was working for ZCMI, Zion's Co-operative Mercantile Institution.  ZCMI is a department store founded by Brigham Young in Salt Lake City back in 1868.  Euleda (Funk) was raised in the Mennonite Church.  In Aberdeen back then there were two churches, the Mennonites and the Mormons.  Working for ZCMI they saw something special in the young Mennonite Lady, and by 1967 she was the "Silver Buyer" for the entire store, along with being the buyer and most knowledgeable person as it came to Crystal items.  For the Mormon Church to have a non-Mormon is such an important position shows you what moral character Euleda had.  She would go on trips to Europe, to the Far East, anywhere she needed to go to find and procure Silver and Crystal for ZCMI.    

But her family was always her number one love.  In 1986 the Aberdeen newspaper ran an article on the birth of her great-granddaughter Brittany, who still lives in the Sacramento area.  Euleda had two boys, Arny had five boys, Mel did not have any children until late in life (he has a girl and boy both under 10 years old now), so in 1986 it was a big deal when the Great-Great-Granddaughter of Herman Funk, Great-Granddaughter of Euleda, Granddaughter of Arny was born to Arny's oldest son Rob and wife Coleen.  Fortunately for the Arny's family, his children and most of his grandchildren and even great-grandchildren were able to see Euleda in November and/or December.  During these COVID times, it just was not practical for Mel's young family to come out from Utah.  It is doubtful that Euleda even knew they were there.  But in previous years, she would light up like a light bulb being turned on whenever her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren came, and she knew her oldest great-great grandchild, and perhaps her second one too.

Here is 5 generations!  Behind Euleda is her Son Arny, Arny's son Rob, Rob's daughter Kelsey, Kelsey's daughter Brielle.  The other two lady's are Rob's mother and Rob's grandmother.  This was taken less than 2 years ago, and Euleda even had a smile on her face!

Sometimes when I had the opportunity to watch Euleda (when Arny and Sandy were away), I would talk to her about her life, places she went, people she met.  Instead of asking, "What countries have you been to?", I would ask her, "Have you ever been to France?"  Many times her face would light up, like when I asked her about Paris, London, Tokyo, places like that.  Occasionally she would say, "I don't know if I have ever been there...", like when I asked her about if she had been to Yellowstone.  When I pointed out that Aberdeen is in Yellowstone's backyard, she would smile and say, "You know, I think I have been there...yes, I know I have."

It is never fun to get old.  I just recently got on medicare...and I can feel it whenever a cold front blows through (like it did last night).  Marcia always tells me, "Don't get old David...its hell," at which point I reminder her that I am old...just not as old as her...and then I duck in case she throws something at me!  All of us who saw Euleda deteriorate these past 5-10 years all have the same feeling..."I don't want to live like that..."  She knew that I was in the bathroom holding her up as Arny or Sandy or Patti or a caregiver pulled her clothes down so that could set her on the toilet...it could not have been a pleasant experience for her.  But you know, she NEVER complained about it to me.  As I held her up my head would be along her head to where I could talk into her ear.  I would say, "You know, we have to stop meeting like this...", and she would laugh. By the time she was just laying in bed all day and night, and as she lost her ability to know what was going on around her, it was just sad. 

She was a real joy to get to know these past 8 years as we made our yearly visit out to California. Rest in Peace my dear lady ... and give Blacky (that is what she called Bubba) and Brownie (that is what she called Skruffy ... she had Macular Degeneration) a big hug for us...along with a great big hug to dad too.

Below are a few more pictures that my sister sent.  (She sent the opening blog picture which is in a frame, and the five generation picture also above.)

 Note:  Yes, it has been a month since she passed.  Don't know why I waited so long but I did.

Phone + Water = Delay

At sister’s house, Citrus Heights, CA

Got up this morning at 6:55 to let the dogs out and feed them.  After the ritual of barking, Arny giving them a treat, them doing their business, they come back in for their morning breakfast.  I put the dry food into their respective bowls, reach for the spoon in a small plastic bowl soaking in water in order to dish out the canned food to mix with the dry food, and to my horror I find Marcia’s flip phone sitting in the bowl next to the spoon in about a 1/2 inch of water!

After getting the dogs their food, I immediately got on Amazon and ordered another flip phone.  $40 later, with delivery sometime tomorrow, and a quick trip to a Verizon Store and she will be back in business.  In the meantime, laundry is done, the car is packed, and we are ready to leave…it will just be Wednesday instead of Tuesday (or late Tuesday afternoon if it comes that quick).

Friday Sandy and Arny left for the Bodega Bay area for two nights, three days of not having to care for Arny’s mom.  Monday through Friday a caregiver, Debbie, comes in for 5 hours, then she lays down for a 2-3 hour nap, and by the time she gets up my sister is home from work.  While they were gone, I helped out Friday morning through Sunday afternoon.  My sister Patti arrived around 3 on Friday and did much of the caregiving from then through Sunday evening.  Me?  Well, I am the muscles…picking her up, moving her, and keeping her company as needed.  Marcia also sat with her and talked and visited for a number of hours too.  It is just so hard to imagine being so dependent on others…can’t do anything on her own.  Ninety five years old…good, long life that just keeps hanging on.

Went over to the grocery store over the weekend too, and saw this Model A with a Cadillac engine sitting in the parking lot…what a nice looking car.  Don’t know which is older, the car of Arny’s mother…my bet is on his mother…and I am sure she has more original parts than this car does.

Anyway, we will be on the road to Oregon either late Tuesday or first thing Wednesday morning.  Will need to adjust our stops a little, but that’s ok, plans are made to be changed…. 

How “OLD” is Old?

Citrus Heights, CA – Sister’s House

This past weekend my sister Sandy and husband Arny, who's backyard we are able to have the motorhome in while in the Sacramento area, went to the Reno Air Races.  My other sister Patti and I took care of Arny’s mother…she is nearly 95 years old.  Euleda can doing little for herself.  She needs help sitting up, can’t stand up so is transferred to a Wheel Chair.  She needs help getting on the potty, taking baths, getting dressed, and even eating.  She can hardly see, can hardly hear…but has much of her other senses, is not in pain, but also cannot remember things without many reminders. 

They left around 10 am on Friday, and returned around 8 pm on Sunday.  A caregiver helps Monday through Friday from 8:30-1:30.  It takes two to get her on the toilet, to get her to bed.  She gets up around 8:30, back to bed at 1:15, up again around 3:30, bed for the night around 7:00.  Same thing day in and day out. This past weekend, Patti and I gave Sandy and Arny a long overdue break.

Euleda can still have a conversation…can answer from simple questions to more complex questions…although the latter may need a bit of help to give her recall.  She likes to talk about days long past...but in the middle of the conversation she might forget what she is talking about.  I sat with her on Saturday and Sunday morning while Patti did some errands.  The TV was going despite the fact she cannot see much of what is going on with the TV.  I was petting Skruffy at one point and asked if she could see Skruffy sitting on my lap.  When she said yes, I can see you petting her, I asked what Skruffy looked like.  “A blob of black fur” is what I think she said.  Patti brought her two dogs over for short visits, and she said, “Are those blond dogs yours Patti?”  On Sunday she asked, "Do you have curly hair?", and I replied that my ponytail is certainly curly.  She loves Chocolate, and when her great granddaughter (Arny’s granddaughter) came over Sunday for a visit, I put out a chocolate truffle which I cut into four pieces.  Brittney did not want any, so it was all for Euleda.  After Brittney left there was still one piece sitting there in front of her.  She could not see it…but when I told her she still had a piece left, she knew right where to grab it with her left hand, the only hand that still functions completely.  At one point Sunday she made the comment that she wished she had a small computer.  Thinking she was serious, I told her that her hands probably did not function good enough to operate a computer.  "Well, I doubt I can see the screen either!"  It wasn't that she "WANTED" a computer...what she wanted was the ability to use and enjoy a computer.

It is inevitable that unless we die early due to bad health, an accident, natural disaster, or evil doing…we will all get old. Dad turns 90 next year, mom 88…and it is there 70th anniversary too.  They live in assisted living, but pretty much can take care of most of their needs.  Both still enjoy getting on the computer…dad loves his Android phone.  They walk, but both use a walker or a cane or a "GoGO" type of scooter. They go on outings with other people in the Assisted Living place...and love to go out to lunch or dinner with family or friends.  They wish they had a car still, but they gave that up last year when they moved into the Assisted Living facility.  Dad has outlived both of his parents who both died in their 60’s (and in the 60’s).  Mom is reaching the age of her mother when she passed, and her father died when mom was a teenager.  One has to go back to dad’s 2nd Great Grandfather to find an ancestor who lived to be over 90…and he lived to be 96 years old, born in Nova Scotia, died in California….1801-1897, nearly the entire 19th century.

I read many RV blogs, and many times I heard it said, “You need to travel while you can…”  I envy some of the younger folks who are traveling in their 30’s.  I wonder about some of the kids who are being home schooled as they travel with their parents from state to state, and even into Mexico and Canada…will these kids travel when they get older?  Or will they settle into the typical life of getting a job, buying a home, etc.??  I am so grateful that Marcia and I are able to travel as we do…get to see so many places, get to travel to Sacramento to visit family and help out where we can.  At some point, the travel will wind down…but there will be so many memories.  This does not scare me…but losing those memories...having to be totally dependent upon others for EVERYTHING certainly does…as it does for many of us.  There comes a point when death is truly ones friend…I know Euleda is at that stage now.  She has commented to me a few times these past few years that she does not know why God keeps her here still…I wonder if any of us will ever know and understand why.  I know one thing for sure…Patti, Marcia and I all enjoyed every minute we had with Euleda over the weekend.  We laughed, we talked, we shared, we ate, we had a good time.  She is a remarkable lady…when the time comes we only hope it is painless for her.  And I know that when that time comes, she will be missed.

Update: Mom, Hummingbird and Travels

Lots of response to my Facebook posting last Sunday about mom being in the hospital.  Family and friends from all over gave “likes” and made “comments” about mom.  I am sure the “likes” were that they ‘liked the fact she was ok’, and not that they ‘liked the idea of her going to the hospital’.  It’s that “facebook” thing you know….  However, one set of comments seemed to be a bit amusing, and I will share that with you in a bit.

But just so everyone could see mom in her normal condition, the two pictures above were snapped this afternoon when mom came over to read to Euleda, who is Arny’s mom. 

My brother Bob has two children, Jennifer and Jared.  I have talked about the story when I took both of them, along with my oldest brother Jim’s daughter to the park here in Sacramento around 1978 and Jennifer pushed Jared into a duck pond….anyway, I did not realize that the effects of not being able to breath air for those few seconds would have such a devastating effect on little Jared who made this comment in Facebook about his grandmother who was taken to the hospital with chest pains, just to find out it was Gastritis.

Don’t know what got into his head thinking that someone died, let alone his Gma, but his response to my response is just darn funny!

    

The resident Hummingbird, the one which rules the feeder, likes to perch himself up on a twig where he can watch for intruders.  A couple of days ago I saw him up there grooming himself, and got these shots…the last of which included a rare picture of his tongue. 

A couple of weeks ago while in Oregon we realized we were not charging the house batteries (the ones that all the 12v lights and other electrical items run off of in the motorhome).  Took it to a shop and we could not figure out where the battery isolator was located.  Well, there it is, right there in the main cargo bin by the front door.

A bit easier to see now that I removed a few things.

When I removed the door guess what I found?   It was the biggest RATS NEST that I had ever seen.  That entire compartment behind that pull-off door was full of leaves, tissue paper, droppings, AND, the most important thing, NOT ONE CHEWED UP WIRE!!!!

But this one red wire, the one with the white arrow pointing to it above, was very loose.  The rat was long gone, the nest is long gone and I filled the hole where he easily got in from the frame at the top, marked by a blue arrow.  Now this was definitely a Florida mouse because all the leafs were Florida trees and not California trees…and they were very, very dry and thank goodness there had not been a spark in there!

As I said before, we have only had the motorhome for under a year, just at a year now…and we are still learning about all the little hiding places.  YES, I had looked behind that door once last year, made a mental note about which quickly got lost in the quicksand of my mind  (Jared is thinking that my brain didn’t get oxygen when I jumped in to save him, but it only came up to my knees, so I can’t use that excuse).  Never gave it a thought when we had it in the shop up in Oregon even though I kept running through my brain all the places I had seen “large wires” at during the previous year.

So after Father’s Day, we are going to do our first minor trip up to the Sierras, to get out of the heat down here in the valley.  I have a few National Forest Campgrounds and a few Full-hookup Campgrounds which I want to visit over a ten day period.  Overall it is a little over 300 miles, but at any given time we will be no more than 100 miles away, and it will give us some non-hookup time to try out the solar panel and the generator, and some full-hookup time too. If all goes well, than after the 4th of July we will expand a larger loop further north.