Mom is Moving to an Assisted Living HOME

Before I get into mom's new place to live, I want to share a breakfast she and I shared on Monday. 

For many years after they moved back to the Sacramento Area, Mom and Dad would eat at the Cornerstone Restaurant on San Juan Avenue near Greenback.  Monday, Sandy and I wanted to show mom the new place we want to move her to, and we had an appointment at 1 pm to see it, and for them to see her...to be sure they knew how mobile she is or isn't.  So I suggested to mom that we go to Cornerstone for a late breakfast, and she eagerly agreed.  I arrived to her place at 9:30, and she was sitting up and just about ready to go.  By 9:45 we were out the door.  Above is a picture off the Internet of the interior of the restaurant.  Off to the right out of the picture are 5 or 6 tables which will seat up to 7 or 8 people, depending how close everyone wants to sit.  Those tables are the ones a group of us, like Mom, Dad, Sandy, Arny, Patti, Marcia and I, would use.

Mom had not been to the Cornerstone Restaurant for a long time.  She enjoyed looking around, seeing if she recognized any of the workers, and made a comment that "It looked like it had not changed...".  Shortly after I took this picture, the waitress who was in charge came over and said, "Long time no see....How are you?"  Mom lite up like a Christmas Tree.  I let her know about dad passing, and asked about a few other staff that I remembered...none of them work there anymore.  Mom asked about the cook(s) and the lady responded that the one mom was asking about still works there, but is off on Monday...and that the guy working on this day has been there for about 5 or 6 years now, which is why he looked familiar to mom.

Mom ordered the Huevos Rancheros plate, I had a Veggie Omelet.  Look at how BIG her plate was!

Over an hour later, she finished just about everything but the potatoes, which I don't think she even touched.  By noon we were over at Sandy's, and by 12:40 we were on our way to our 1 pm appointment.

A little history ....   Mom and Dad moved to an Assisted Living Facility back in 2016.  They first lived at the Brookdale Orangevale Assisted Living facility, now called Blossom Vale Senior Living.  In the summer of 2019, they moved to The Terraces Assisted Living Facility in Roseville because it is closer to both Patti and to Sandy.  Overall, we liked the Terraces better than Brookdale...we have no idea what it is like there now that it is Blossom Vale.  Both of these facilities offered trips in their bus/van to area restaurants, and occasionally day trips up into the mountains or over to the Bay Area. 

After Dad passed, mom stayed in the same one bedroom apartment (for lack of a better term).  She enjoyed going on outings, visiting with other residents, playing Bingo and partaking in other activities.  This past September her last remaining sibling, Mary, had passed.  This seemed to hit her, even though she said it didn't.  Over the next few months she stayed in her apartment more and more.  She hated it when they forced her to stay in her apartment during various Covid attacks these past three years ...by late March she seemed to hate going out.  She caught Covid in February or early March, but recovered with little difficulty.  However, that seemed to the straw that broke the camel's back.

Over the past two months I found that if we could get her out of bed for lunch, she would typically go down to dinner too.  So I have been going over there once or twice just about every day, and she has been better.  But the Assisted Living Facility staff just could not convince her to get out of bed like a family member could...but they charged us an extra $500 per month for trying, and typically failing, in that department.  We all felt she was headed for a Nursing Home, which we know she would not like at all.  Then Patti's renter (who works with older folks) told Patti about an Assisted Living Home which a CNA had told her about.  Last week Sandy and Patti looked into not only that home, but five others.  We all liked the first one they looked at, and that is where Sandy and I took Mom on Monday.  Patti turned in a 30 day notice on Monday with a "earlier if possible" request to the Terraces.  They have someone who wants a one bedroom NOW, so we are able to move Mom out this Saturday.  The home has no more than six residents, with a minimum of two staff always on hand.  There is another 'sister' home three houses down, and being in the very rural area of Antelope, the distance could easily fit eight to ten houses on both sides of the street if they were all pushed up next to each other.  The two homes occasionally have activities, such as a BBQ, from time to time.  The person in charge of the homes lives nearby, so we feel Mom will be safe and secure...and with more staff attention, we hope this will get her out of bed and active a bit more.  On the downside, if you want to call it that, she will not have her 'own phone', but only because she does not want to learn how to use a cell phone...even one made for seniors.  There will be no bus/van outings, but she has stopped those anyway.  The food choices at each meal will be more limited, but she is not a picky eater.  Depending upon how the cards are dealt from here on out, she may not end up in a Nursing Home situation because this home will work the resident the best they can, including through Hospice Care if needed.